Life is beautiful,

I fucking hate nature. Don't give me that "without nature we wouldn't be here" shit. I'm an existentialist. Without us nature wouldn't be here. If you didn't exist, nothing would exist for you, so think of it that way.

But I just wanted to say that nature fucking sucks. Winter is better than summer because the cold kills most of the shit that bugs me about the outdoors. This time of year is the worst.

For the past couple of weeks, everywhere I go in my yard I keep walking through spiderwebs. No, I'm not having tactile hallucinations. I try to watch where I'm walking, but I never see them until they're all over my face. Why do spiders only build their webs 5 ft 6 in off the ground? Just to fuck with me. So there's one reason I can't stand nature.

Another thing: fucking moths. I stay up all night every night. I have to go outside to smoke, so every night I sit on the back porch every hour and have a cigarette. The whole time, I'm swatting fucking moths away from my face. Why do the little cocksuckers seek out my face and fly directly at it?

I've been to people's houses that have a roach problem. That's not nature's fault, that's just trashiness. I don't play that shit in my house. If I see one roach crawling in my kitchen, I burn my fucking house down and move. How do people live with bugs?

Some people leave their window's open in the summer. Then they have flies buzzing around their house. They walk around with flies on their faces like Ethiopians. WTF is wrong with people?

It's not just bugs that I hate about nature, I hate the dirt and the trees and the grass. When I finally own my own home, I'm cutting down every tree on my property and I'm pouring concrete over all the grass. I wish the world was made of steel and concrete.

So maybe we need nature. That doesn't mean we have to wallow in it.